My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Monday 10 November 2014

But not alone

(I missed the bit about going camping. And the cliche about watching the stars. But a girl had better not ask for too much.)

I want to sit outside in the evening,
 smell the garden at dusk
 and watch the sky change colour.

I want to drive long, dark roads,
 fish and chips passed to the driver
 and kids snuggled in the back.

I want to catch a movie and dinner,
 go to the ballet, check out some gig
 and walk the night time streets
     in my good clothes.

I want to fall in to bed
 with perfume staining my pillow
 and feel the feeling
     of skin between sheets.

And I want to soak long in the sea,
and feel it heal me.

I want to sit on the sofa,
and watch some great TV.

I want to see the fiords, and Fiji,
and anywhere that's new for me.

I'd like to ride through streets again,
 know that I can be strong,
 and remember what it feels like to fly.

I'd like to make a grown ups' meal,
 just once in a while
 and leave the dishes until morning.

I'd like to have late night conversation,
 fill the silence with talking
 and laugh out loud in bed.

I'd like to play this game again,
 instead of watching,
 and after so much losing, win.

I want to soak long in the sea,
and feel it heal me.

I want to sit on the sofa,
and watch some great TV.

I want to see the fiords, and Fiji,
and anywhere that's new for me.




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